2010

Well, it's a new year.
A new year means new possibilities, new challenges, and new people in my life. As ready as I am to leave 2009 behind as the worst year-to-date for me probably, I am curious where a new year will lead me. Everything I have posted thus far has been related to things I've been mulling over myself or I have struggled with. The biggest thing I am analyzing over the last 24 hours is my life thus far. I have lived for at least part of three decades now and it really hit me hard that I will be in my thirties at the end of this decade. What's the worst for me is not that I have messed up so much in my life, because that is irrefutable. The biggest problem is I have been on the planet so long and I don't have anything to show for it. I am not speaking material pleasures, or physical assets; I simply can't think of how I have positively affected anyone enough to make a difference. I want to be a difference maker; a crusader for everything that should be right in the world, and I want to be known as a stand-up guy that had passion. So many acquaintances of mine are content with their lives to live in the small town, settle down, and have a decent job. I have always wanted more for my life. Not saying those things aren't okay; they're just not me.
My hope is that I won't just say I want to change the world and spend the next ten years repeating an empty statement.
In my first 21 years I have been, at least at times, complacent, depressed, abundantly sinful, cynical, and even cruel. I know that's harsh, but it's an unfortunate truth for most of us as human beings and Christians. I'm not proud of my past but I want to be proud of my future. I can't help but to think of Revelation 3:2a which says: "Wake up! Strengthen what remains and is about to die." Strong words given to a generation of people that feel like I do: spend the next decade living, not putting off death.