With Utmost Sincerity

The last couple weeks I've been hit hard by a couple of sermons and not really even sermons but actually just in worship I've been hit hard by the Holy Spirit. And I realize that I need to apologize for my actions representing Christ. It is actually that I have been representing myself; have been representing the world more than anything, and I am accustomed to getting my own way. I never give what I can to Christ. It reminds me of a story in the Bible where the lady gave all that she had to Christ and it wasn't much, yet it was everything. On the contrary it seems that I have everything yet I give nothing and that's a hard spot for me to be in. I desire to be a role model to the youth that I work with, to my sister that looks up to me. I want to be a leader in my relationships; I want to be out leader to my friends, and I want to fully dependent on Christ as my leader. This is my prayer. Let me lead. Give me back my passion and concern. I want my anguish for the cause of Christ back. I need that fulfillment. I have had it before and it seems as if the only times I write is after a long bath in my depravity and a sudden realization that I need more of Jesus. But I do need more Jesus. And I plan to stay in His presence henceforth. Holy Spirit guide me and remove any indignation you have of me I pray. Teach me to give ALL I have.